An Alderaani Song

Here we go for the disclaimer…

I admit it, I do not own those characters, there’re not mine, I swear it on the Corellian honor… George Lucas owns everything in that wonderful universe that Star Wars is… and this fiction has just been made for the enjoyment of his writer and the readers; I’m not making money with it (how surprising!)

*warning* contains minor spoilers of Han Solo’s trilogy, but it’s not really important to understand the story.

It’s the first fiction I ever posted, and it’s translated from French… I hope you’ll like it! Every comments, questions, ideas and all that sort of stuff are welcome at:

amy_solo@hotmail.com

I just want to say some words to Kili Kenobi, from the Blue Harvest BBS, who helped me to translate this fiction… Yeah, thank you, I don’t know what I could have done without you!!!!!!

;-)

  As he watched the yellow-red sky of Yavin IV from his balcony, Han wondered why he was still there. He disliked this moon, and its capricious temperatures: if the day was so warm that the Rebels were obliged to stay inside those old ramshackle buildings they called temples, the night was so cold that people who were outside had little chances to be alive when the sun rose again.

 He let a soft sigh escape from his lips. Hell, why was he still there? Why hadn't he forgotten the kid and gone back to his old activities, to his old liberty? Why hadn't he sent that damned Princess and all her rebel guys to hell?

 Well… Now, he had all the time he could wish for to think about it… Inside, the party was continuing and would certainly finish very late in the night. But the strange atmosphere which was reigning in the room, like everybody knew everybody, was beginning to make him… yeah, pretty uncomfortable. Truth be told, very uncomfortable. After all, those guys didn't know him, they never saw him before today, except the kid and the princess. And even so, they welcomed him like he was one of them. Like a respectable man. Like a hero.

 Totally crazy, the Corellian thought.

 He never liked to be close to someone. The loved ones are always the first to put a knife in your back, it was something well known. On Corellia, the more paranoid planet in the universe, there was an old saying that said that the most dangerous enemy was the one you didn't suspect. More than a saying, it was a universal law in his world, the one he grew up in. Anyway, the world of smugglers and outlaws. Not the world of heroes. Not the one of respectable people.

 Besides, he didn't care about that Rebellion, did he? As soon as he and Chewie finished the repairs on the Falcon, they would quit and go back to their life, as it was before, when he wasn't accountable to anybody, except himself and two meters of brown fur.

 A ship, a co-pilot. All that he needed. Nothing more.

 No friend, no lover.

 A cynical smile began to form on his lips. It was what he said the day Bria let him fall. As a result, he had found himself with a Wookie bodyguard, and a new friend, a smuggler a bit older than he, Calrissian, not to mention Salla, Xaverri…

 *You know you never hold your resolutions, Solo, admit it.*

 He let another sigh escape, and held his coat tight. The balcony was pretty high, and the wind was beginning to cool. He admired the last sunlight, waiting impatiently the awakening of the stars.

 But he had to admit that he was enjoying his new situation, even if it was just for a little time. And he liked Luke. The kid was enthusiastic, innocent, curious, and had certainly a lot of courage. It was good to spend time with someone who was not always yelling at him, like Chewie did... well, yes, he loved that too, but it was good to change. When

he saw the young Tatooine farmboy, Han couldn't help but thinking about Jarrik...

 *Poor kid... I'm sure he would have wished to see that...*

 They were almost the same age, Luke was just a little older. He missed the boy, he missed him a lot. He often thought of what life could have been like, if Jarrik wouldn't have been killed on Ylesia.

 The pain suddenly came back, and he tried to calm down. Jarrik was dead, and he couldn't change it, even if he wished to.

 It wasn't his fault, after all. It was her fault.

 Her, who betrayed him, who had sacrificed everything for her dear Rebellion. Her, who said one day that she loved him, and the next day, was threatening him with that blaster he taught her how to use, a long time ago. Her, that liar, that cheater... Yeah, she was really good for hiding her cards and using people. When she came to persuade him to help her to lead this assault against Ylesia, it worked very well, that little game of hers; she told him she would let him and his smuggler friends have all the spice they could find so they would be greatly rewarded for their job. The only thing that interested her was to deliver all the prisoners. And finally, when the dirty work was done, she took everything for her Rebellion. Moreover, she even managed to discredit him for his friends. They were all persuaded that it was in his plan, even if he hadn't seen the shadow of one credit in all that matter.

 He hated her. She betrayed him, she made him suffer.

 No. It was crazy, but he loved her. Bria caused him a lot of pain, but he truly had loved her.

 It was the Rebellion that he hated so much. All what happened was the fault of that damn organization.

 *You silly people, you really think you would be able to defeat the Empire?*

 Sure, about thirty X-Wings would establish the freedom and the liberty in the galaxy, and all those old notions which didn't meant anything anymore since Palpatine was ruling the universe...

 But, hey, the kid had just destroyed that great imperial weapon people said was invulnerable some hours ago, didn't he?

 He didn't understand anymore. What should he do, where should he go, who should he follow, who should he trust?

 For the first time in his whole life, he wasn't so sure he wanted to be alone. He would miss Luke, if he left. And perhaps even the Princess, who could know?

 Yes, he would miss her... After all, once she wouldn't be there anymore, who could he tease with that annoying nicknames he gave her?

  He leant over the balcony and opened his eyes again. He didn't remember closing them. Over him, the sky was now purple, red in some places, and the stars were shining. He felt like he was becoming the young dreaming kid he once was, and lost himself in the contemplation.

 One minute, one hour, one year later, he didn't know, a soft murmur made him forget the vision. He listened attentively; somebody, a woman, was singing somewhere, outside... He stood up and headed to the sound.

 The voice was beautiful, very soft, but extremely sad. He couldn't understand what the song said; he didn't recognize that language. He moved toward her, very slowly for not her to be scared, and stopped before joining her.

 The young woman was leaning on the balcony, like he did some times before, her shadowed face turned to the sky, her hands firmly gripped on the rail. Her long blue night coat was flying around her because of the cool wind, and the white gown she wore under it appeared in some places.

 Han recognized her immediately. He had the instinct to run toward her to ask her what was wrong, but he didn't. He had forgotten he wasn't the only one who lost loved ones and suffered. He didn't have to ask her what was wrong, he just knew it. She lost everything she had: her family, her friends, her world...

 His own loss seemed suddenly really tiny, in comparison, and he felt ashamed for his self-pity.

 He hold his breath, for not to be seen, and for her not to know she had an audience. The young woman was still singing, and Han tried to understand what she was saying.

 Lee myssila nilis deamore,

 Oole dissy derobare,

 Alnte leea dey starey,

 Planycia delide fildistey.

  She looked down, shivered, and crossed her arms on her chest, mesmerized by the strange landscape of the large Yavin's jungle.

  He waited one minute for her to recover, but as she still didn't move, Han decided to head toward her. She didn't hear him approach, but didn't startle when he embraced her and let his arms on her shoulders, as if he had always done that. The Corellian noticed that her long brown hair which was mostly hidden in her coat was untied, and he had to fight against the desire to take off her long cloak to see how she looked like like this. He didn't know what to do, or what to say. He wasn't even sure if he had the right to do something or to be here. After all, he didn't know her, she didn't know him, and they first met one day ago, perhaps less. Nevertheless, something in the Princess' behaviour encouraged him to go further, and he held her tightly, his face almost entirely buried in the young woman's hair.

  She didn't say a word, and Han guessed she was still shocked. Today's events didn't let her time to think of all what had been destroyed, and she had be too busy to try to think about it. But now, all that pain she had hidden deeply in her was free to come out, and as he saw she was in a daze, he presumed that it was just the beginning of her suffering.

  He finally decided to say something, hoping he was not too clumsy.

"It was really beautiful," he whispered.

  As she didn't answer, he suddenly felt afraid of having done something wrong; but at last she moved, faced him, and raised her eyes to the sky, with the same dreamy look she had before.

"It's for Alderaan," she murmured, her voice full of sadness.

  As the Princess' gaze fell on him, he saw tears shining in the back of her dark eyes. Quietly, he stroked her wet cheek, put her head on his shoulder and embraced her more tightly than before. She let him do without arguing, probably too overwhelmed by the pain to protest when someone was being nice with her, as Han was trying to be at this moment. He slowly began to lull her, wondering if she would one day let herself cry, as all human beings do. He knew, and he was personally experienced in this kind of thing, that if she chose to hold back her tears, the pain would become more and more unbearable, and that it would be the death of her. That's why he felt relieved as he heard discreet sobs.

"That's all right, Princess…" he whispered with a soothing tone. "It'll be all right, Leia…"

  The smuggler noticed that he had just used her name for the first time. He waited for her to calm down, and to speak to him. She raised her chin, and her face seemed suddenly very childish.

  "I'm sorry…"

  "You don't have to be, sweetheart," he answered with a friendly smile.

    He dried the red marks her tears made on her face, and sat down on the rail, Leia still snuggled up to him. Once again, he didn't say a word and waited. At last she stood up, but did nothing to break his warm and soft embrace.

"I've been out to see stars, you know? I loved watching the sky, when the night had just come and the sun hadn't entirely vanished. I often went with Father in the observation tower of the Palace, and he told me a lot of stories about planets and constellations. It was my favourite moment of the day…"

  She stopped, smiled to Han, and then shown with her finger a little white spot that was shining a little more than the others.

"You see? This planet, over there?”

  Han nodded silently; if she wanted to speak, it would be better for her to do so, and he certainly would let her continue.

"That's Alderaan. Its light will still reach Yavin IV for several decades, even if it no longer exists. That's so strange…"

  She shivered, then held her coat tight.

  "That song you were singing…" Han began to break off the silence… "It was very beautiful."

  "It's an old Alderaani song… We sang it for funerals… I just think it was a good occasion."

  The cynicism in her voice didn't surprised the Corellian but it didn't reassure him though.

  "And… what does it mean?" He tried with a hesitant voice.

She took a light breath, always watching her native planet, than began to recite:

“If the one you loved no longer exists,

If you have nothing anymore but faith,

Raise your eyes to the stars

Which will keep with them his soul.”

She stared away a moment, blinked, then gave him a smile.

"Of course, that's just a rough translation. Perhaps you could ask C-3PO for a better one…"

Han answered to her smile, and glanced at the temple.

"I don't think so…"

  She let a soft sigh escape, and thrown back a dark lock. Han remained still, and his gaze suddenly fell on the Princess' lips. Without even thinking, he moved his face near from hers, closed his eyes and kissed her tenderly, enjoying the softness of the contact. Like in a dream, he forgot everything else, what had been lost, Bria, Jarrik, Alderaan; like in a dream, nothing else mattered anymore, except this peaceful moment. When he stood back, he suddenly realised what he had just done and tensed. Leia parted, but there were no signs of anger on her face, or in her eyes. She wasn't just conscious enough to be mad at him, he though, both sad and amused.

  "I'm sorry," he finally managed to say.

  Leia shook her head, than stared at him intensively.

"You don't have to be… sweetheart," she replied with a shy smile on her lips.

  Then the silence reigned, while they were lost in each others eyes. Han broke it, with regret.

"Well, your Highnessness," he whispered without stopping to watch the young woman, "I think it's time to go back, or all your Rebel guys will wonder where you have been…"

  "You're right…"

  A mischievous smile appeared on her face.

  "They'll think you abducted me, Captain Solo."

  The Corellian gave her his most innocent expression, laughed a little, then began to make some steps toward the temple and held on his hand to the Princess.

"I see your Worshipfulness knows me well."

  Leia smiled, put her hand in his and followed him inside. 

The End

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